My Own Fate
by TwilightLovarr
Summary: What was going through Edward's mind when he and his parents were dying from the Spanish Influenza? What happened during Edward's transformation? One-shot


**Hello everyone! I just came up with this: Edward's mind during his transformation. I hope you like it.**

**I do not own the Twilight Saga**

**Enjoy!  
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My own fate

You never know what you can expect. Life is full of surprises. I didn't know if I really believed in something. I mean, if there was a destiny, was my fate dying on my seventeenth? Yes, I was dying along with my parents. Was it fair that people die on there eightieth a peaceful death while I have to die with my parents on my seventeenth because of a horrible disease? I believe not.

But anyways, the Spanish Influenza broke out and me and my parents were infected. I heard screams and cries from everywhere but I was too confused to understand what they're saying and I didn't try to understand. When you're dying you don't really care anymore for what is happening. You're going to die anyways, so why would care about what happens around you?

I turned my head slowly while I breathed heavily. Why was it so hot in here? I saw my mother. Her eyes were closed and for a moment I wondered if she already died like my father. A part of me wanted her dead, she already suffered enough. But the other part was still hoping for a miracle that would make at least my mother better.

My mother opened her eyes and she turned to look at me. She gave a sad, small smile when she saw me. Even when we were dying my mother tried to keep me smiling or happy or at least she tried to be there for me. I loved my mother with my whole heart, with every cell of my body. She was there always for me and like I said before, she always tried to keep me happy. "You're my little boy," she always said to me. No, I couldn't imagine losing her. And yet, yet she was dying in the bed next to me.

My father was like my mother; always trying to make me laugh. I did a lot things with my father. Like hiking, working and that kind of stuff. While my mother called me her little boy, my father called me his big son. He was always proud of me. I was the kind of son he always wanted and I was proud of that. And now he was gone. Even _if_ I was going to survive, my father wouldn't be there anymore. I couldn't imagine losing my father, but I already did.

Suddenly my mother started to hyperventilate. My heart started to pound faster and harder against my chest and I took a deep breath but it hurt. My head was empty and sweat slid down from my face. The only that was in my mind was my mother who was going to die soon.

I saw a blond doctor hovering over her. I thought his name was Dr. Cullen. Carlisle Cullen. I took again a deep breath while I looked at my mother who was screaming and yelling things like: "my son!" and "keep my son alive!" I knew that he couldn't do that. I knew that my mother tried everything she could to save me, but it just couldn't. Witch miracle could let me stay alive? My mother kept screaming but it was like her voice came from a tunnel. I couldn't hear her clear anymore.

Suddenly my mother stopped screaming and her breath stopped. She was gone. I felt a tear running down my face. I was too sick to really understand what was happening around me, but not _that_ sick that I couldn't understand what just happened next to me.

Suddenly my heart started pounding harder and harder against my chest. I tried to breath calmly but panicked. I mean, how can you stay calm if you know that you will face death soon? I swallowed and I started to sweat more and more. It was so hot in there.

I saw Dr. Carlisle Cullen hovering this time over me. For some reason he looked panicked. He saw people dying before, why did he panic with me? Was there something else wrong with me? Suddenly he started to push the bed. Wait, I wasn't dead yet, where was he taking me? I started to panic more and I gasped for breath. Suddenly I was out of the bed and I felt like flying. Was I dead already? I didn't realize that I already died. I was grateful that my dead wasn't as dramatic as that from my mother.

After a few minutes of flying we came in a room. It was light. Carlisle laid me in another bed. I wondered if I really did die. Suddenly I started to hyperventilate and I realized that it wasn't the end yet. But I knew that my end would come soon. I could _feel_ it.

'You're going to be okay,' I heard a beautiful voice. It came from somewhere but I didn't know for where. I was too confused and scared. 'It's going to hurt but then you'll be okay,' I heard the voice again. I didn't wanted to believe what the voice was saying. I was really sick and a lot people already died because of the disease. I couldn't get cured and I didn't wanted to hope anymore. _If_ there was a fate, then my fate would be dying. 'I'm sorry,' I heard the voice again. I felt something cold against my throat and suddenly I felt a pain cutting through my wrists, ankles, from everywhere. I was _burning_.

I swallowed uncomfortable. This was the most horrible pain I ever felt. My heart was pounding like crazy against my chest and it was like I could feel lava running through my veins. I couldn't help it anymore and I started to scream and struggle against the pain. But every movement hurt even more. _Was this dying?_ I didn't saw anyone dying like that. Yes, I did hear screams and people who were struggling but that was just because they had oxygen deficiency.

The lava was getting hotter and hotter and I knew for sure that I was on fire. Why didn't Carlisle just kill me? Wait, maybe I was burning in Hell. But I didn't knew what I did wrong to be punished like that. I was always the perfect son for my parents; Obedient, polite and I had good manners. Even at school I behaved like a gentleman and I had good marks. I really couldn't understand what I did wrong.

The other thing I didn't understand was why did Carlisle do this to me? I thought he said I was going to be _okay_. I thought that I heard my mother beg him to keep me safe and alive. But everything was better than _this_. I was smart enough to know that this wasn't the kind of dead the others died because of the disease. Maybe Carlisle hated me and threw me into fire.

My whole life flashed by. My childhood till my youth. I couldn't go further because - whatever was happening - started to get more painful and I gasped for breath. My heart started to pound every minute faster. For how long was this going be? Wasn't I punished enough?

Seconds, minutes, hours, maybe days past by and I was still burning. I lost track of time. Sometimes I stopped screaming; screaming didn't handle the pain. I stopped struggle because that didn't help either. Sometimes I heard Carlisle speaking to me. He told me how sorry he was and soon it'll stop. He also told me what I was becoming. _A vampire_. I didn't believe it, vampires didn't exist, only in books. I never read those books, I knew they were ridiculous. I started to wonder if he didn't need a doctor or something.

Suddenly the pain was starting to get less. I was still burning but not like before. _I was getting stronger_. Was it finally over? Could I finally die and get rid of this whole thing. I turned my head and opened my eyes - I closed them during the pain. I saw Dr. Carlisle Cullen sitting and he looked very nervous. I closed my eyes again and I waited while the pain was getting less and less.

Suddenly the pain was gone and I opened my eyes. Not knowing that this was just the beginning of my new life.

Maybe there was a fate.

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I hope you all liked it!**

**Thank you.**


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